My doctor put me on Lo Loestrin Fe, the lowest estrogen pill on the market. I am on my second pack. At points I have been convinced that I will bleed to death. It's strange how much blood women can lose and still continue to live. I bled for 15 days with a 9 day break and now I'm back at it again. I seem to be unlucky with this pill, most of the ill side effects of the pill have been my reality since being on it. I go from being nauseas to crying. Extreme mood swings, excessive bleeding, stomach pain, nausea. It's like the kind of roller coaster nobody wants to be on. It's gotten to the point where changing my meds is the best option. I've had moments where I feel like I can't make it through it on these pills. I have been keeping to myself because I am so up and down and it's much easier to be alone and all over the place. I'm pretty relieved I will be trying something new. Endometriosis is incurable and I have been thinking about my future treatment plan. It's difficult to separate myself from endometriosis and not become endometriosis. I have endometriosis but I am not endometriosis. I feel frustrated with my doctor at this point. He doesn't have a plan for me. He wants to stop menstruation but you can only keep a period at bay for so long and then what? I am still taking my herbalists recommendations but my suffering is relentless. There are days where getting out of bed is a task. Every time I bleed my disease is worsening. I'm back to not being able to hold pee and I am again an excessive pee-er. Hopefully these new pills offer me some relief and stop this crazy breakthrough bleeding. Keep on keepin' on. http://endometriosis.org/ On a lighter note,
0 Comments
I have been really struggling with the idea of what it means to be a woman. Women are the givers of life, the womb for creation. Our bodies are built to grow a baby, to nourish life.
This is a very personal battle I'm facing yet I find unbelievable relief in being candid about what I'm up against. I'm learning through slowly allowing more transparency that it is deeply freeing to share. I sometimes feel as though my biggest battles in my life are with my own body. Due to the severity of my endometriosis the doctor has given me a window of two years to reproduce. Up until this point I have always thought I would lead a life of being a childless, fearless wanderer of the world. I took pride in thinking that I would be able to go as I please, to seek new depths and to gain new experiences. I have always felt I was meant to be traveling the world and that when I had satiated my wanderlust I would settle and have children. I think of myself never having the ability to have children and am overwhelmed with feelings of deep sadness. Freezing eggs is expensive. From my research I've found that it can cost between 7-16 thousand dollars and IVF is even more pricey. My doctor has given me a 20% chance of conceiving after my two year window, each year the chances becoming less and less. None of my options seem fair or feasible. Where I go from this point is a difficult decision. Having a child now would give me a 70% chance of curing my endometriosis but from my own research I have found many women who still are suffering even after child birth. It's hard to know what's right, what the best decision is. It's hard to know what the right move to make is. If only I could find a genie to grant me a few wishes or financial security. Lord knows we could all use a genie. This is a really great article depicting the truth of having endometriosis. It's also an article that talks about endometriosis being found in other areas of the body which is something that afflicts me (such as in the diaphragm). http://www.redorbit.com/news/health/1113232869/endometriosis-burden-on-women-091214/ |
WARNING:
Usage of tasteful profanity which you might not consider tasteful. Some stories are vulgar. Colorful language and descriptions included. Reading these stories may cause you to become offended, appalled and uneasy. You have been warned. Read with caution. Categories
All
Archives
September 2017
|